It’s that infamous-time of the year again where Sheffield hosts it’s own ‘totally green man’ FREE! festival over the entire urban sprawl of the city, thats right it’s TRAMLINES time…
In the past we’ve done this feature via our HOT&ROTTEN publication, but this time round we’re focusing that energy on our very own MEATZINE (coming soon…) so here’s a little run down of who to see, what to expect and where to go…
Put bluntly, the main-stage will be full of families and teenagers from about 10am so it’s probably best to avoid that one if your looking for a good time. From 9PM the festivals becomes “SCABLINES!” - families and middle-class teens clear the area only to be replaced by the entirely of Manor Top and a few ‘nutters’ from Winkobank. - plenty of thieves who speak in extremely strong Sheffield-dialect are knocking about, it’s worth keeping your wits about you if you don’t know how to deal with these people. A claw hammer to the teeth will usually sort them out.
Other places to avoid are here, with some reason why…
FROG&PARROT - Far too sweaty and it starts to smell of farts from about noon… (especially avoid if the windows are already full of condensation, the atmosphere will be close to unbearable).
SOYO - Sunday nights are really good (PORK!) Apart from that the bouncers are far too off-putting, especially if you try and have a fag anywhere near the fire escape.
BUNGALOWS AND BEAR’s - It’s smelt wierd in there for the last 24 months and no-one really seems to want to sort it out. Poor form #BOYCOT!
But don’t let my depressive nature destroy the mindless-activities that are going on, it’s not all bad news, grab yourself the SCABLINES app for a mere £0.69 and you can find out where all these bad-ass dudes are playing!
MADCOLOURS (PORK & MORPH!)
HEY SHOLAY (PORK DENIAL)
AVIDA DOLLARS (PORK BROTHERS)
L’AMOUR DES REVES (BEYOND PORK!)
SEIZE THE CHAIR (PORK BROTHERS)
DJ DOUBLE DENIM (apparent PORK FOUNDER? / MORPH!)
DRENGE! (Haversage Hippies!)
Unless i’m mistaken there isn’t a Tramline Karaoke bar anyway is there? Some fucker is missing a trick there, i’d be in there all night sipping gin ‘n’ juice just like sniggering and shit while muppets make tools of themselves.
See you on the MORPH-Side!